CHUCKLES----

Grandchildren

After Christmas a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school! (This was actually reported by a teacher – one of her children wrote the following:)

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don’t have to mow the grass anymore!

They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the doll house. The ones that do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Family Legacy - Continued

EMPTY CUPBOARDS AGAIN

Still in Castro Valley, we had four children to feed, and Jerry was out of work again. We were active in Neighborhood Church all the time we lived here.

As I looked in the cabinet to find something to fix for dinner, I found a can of lima beans, a can of tomato sauce and something else which I don't remember. I made a casserole, which wasn't bad at all. That was it ----empty.

The next day, I was totally overwhelmed when Frieda Post and Billie Schmidt came to the door with bags and bags of groceries. Our Sunday School class had done this for us. Thank God for church family!

Dot

CHUCKLES----

Car Keys

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.

I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. ...

my wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen.
As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered; I always call her “honey” in times like these.

“I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.
“Idiot”, she barked, “I dropped you off!” Now it was my time to be silent, embarrassed, I said, “well, come and get me.”
She retorted, I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car.”

Family Legacy - Continued

HELP! Flat Tire

We were living in Castro Valley. I was taking Jerry to work at Fabric Lane in San Leandro, and picking him up after work so I could have the car. One day, as I started onto the freeway, I realized I had a flat tire. Beth was asleep in the back seat.

I got out of the car to look, and immediately, a car with two young guys swooped in to help me, I guess. They quickly got the jack out and put the spare tire on for me. As they were working, I said, "You guys are really great". One got a smirk on his face as he looked at the other one and said, "Lady, if you only knew!" I have an idea why they stopped, but they probably saw Beth in the back seat, so they just changed my tire and left. Thank you Jesus!

Dot

CHUCKLES----

Preacher's new dentures

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...

Family Legacy - Part 4

BATHROOM SCALE FIXED

Does God really care about things like a bathroom scale? No, but He cares about what is important to us.

On our way out of town, when we were moving to Los Angeles, to go to Bible College, I redeemed some gas stamps for a bathroom scale. I had always wanted a scale. (They bribed you to buy gas in those days.)

I was so exhausted in those days that I came home from school and took a nap with the kids. Within a very short time after we got the scales, while I was still asleep, Steve got out of bed and turned the little adjusting knob on the scale. It stuck at 300 pounds. I was sick, and also felt that I had been negligent.

I stood on the scales in tears and said, "Lord, I know I have been careless, but I ask that You will please fix the scale for me. I will be more careful next time." I waited ... it seemed like I should jump on them. Was this the Lord? I did it and it worked. He fixed my scale. I would like to tell you that I was more diligent, but I wasn't. About a week later, we were very tired, and I slept longer than Steve did. He must have been very fascinated by that little knob. He turned it again. I felt terrible again. My first thought was to do what I did the last time, but it wasn't the jumping that made it work. Jumping didn't work. I prayed again, "Lord, I am embarrassed to come to You again, but please fix the scale once again." This time, I felt I was just to turn the knob. It turned back to "0". The scale worked fine for many years after that. He really does care about things that matter to us.

Dot