Dot's Thoughts

Monday, June 18, 2012

CHUCKLES----

GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE MURDEROUSLY DANGEROUS...

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.

Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

Too bad the video wasn’t on … this one would have been worthy of ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’but for the ending!

(Thank you for visiting, and please continue reading my story below!)

FORGIVENESS

“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” Have you ever thought of this command when you pray for America? This morning as I was praying, I was shocked at the revelation. I have prayed many times for God to forgive the sins of America, but never thought of forgiving our enemies, those who participated in 9/11. At first my heart rebels loudly at such a thought, but my prayers are not fruitful unless I chose to forgive them. It seems preposterous to forgive them, but it is what Jesus told us to do. That doesn’t get them off the hook, however.

When I think of the sins of America, it is overwhelming and impossible for us as a nation to please God. How can we repent for actions of others? (because repent means to turn around and stop doing wrong) Our only hope is for God to forgive us, but we will not receive God’s forgiveness for America’s sins unless we forgive our enemies.

Doesn’t God love those men who bombed the Trade Centers? Who knows, maybe God will open the eyes of their understanding.

Instead of talking about all that’s wrong with America, pray for God’s forgiveness for our sins, but also forgive those who have sinned against us as a nation and personally. We need His blessing instead of judgment.

Dot

Monday, June 4, 2012

CHUCKLES----

The Toilet Seat

My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry clear epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her. (Try to get a mental picture of this.) Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them...... I just never saw one mounted and framed."

(Please continue reading my story below)

Family Legacy - Part 2

THE FLOOD

It was Steve's first Christmas, I believe. We had a good time watching him open presents, most of which I had made. We felt so alone, because the Folks were living in Arcata and we had moved to Belmont for Jerry's job. No other family had moved down here yet.

We planned to go to Arcata for Christmas, but it was the year of the great flood. We had the trailer that we borrowed from Dad to move down here, and wanted to take it back.

We listened to weather and road reports constantly, hoping for a good word. Finally, about the 28th, it sounded better so Jerry said, "Let's go". Sounded good to me.

All went well until we got to Laytonville. The road was closed and it was dark. We didn't know what to do. I had brought some boiled eggs and some other things to eat. We went to a restaurant to wait until we found out what we could do. They gave Steve some crackers and gave us hot water to drink. Then we decided we should get a motel, though it cost about all the money we had with us.

We were told the bridge was out at Cloverdale, so we were told we could go across to Highway 1 to Ft. Bragg, go north, and back again to Garberville. The next morning, we were off again, in our Nash Rambler and pulling the wooden trailer. The weather was clear, but murky, and the sun still was not shining. Somewhere along that road, the trailer came loose and rammed into the gas tank. We had a gas tank leaking in the middle of NOWHERE! There were no services on this road at that time.

Jerry made a plug with a branch from a tree, and filled the hole. (I believe that plug was still there when we traded that car.)

We arrived in Ft. Bragg with no money, and by this time it was getting dark again. Days are short in December. We knocked on the door of a house by a gas station. The people were very cordial, inviting us in and I believe they gave us soup. We had to get back to Highway 101 tonight, so we verified directions and went on our way. This was still the evening of the second day.

When we got back to 101, we continued north. We came to a place where water was rapidly pouring over the highway. This was at Benbow. We were afraid, but Jerry said, "Pray really hard". It was very dark and we didn't realize how bad it really was because no one had told us about this place, but I prayed harder than I had ever prayed. He got a running start and somehow we stayed on top of the water and landed on the other side with the motor still running. I believe that took two bands of angels to carry us over; one band of angels for us and the car and one band to get the trailer across. Somehow, that night, we got to Garberville.

In Garberville, they had a relief place set up in a gym. They asked us where we came from. When we said, "the Bay Area," they were amazed and said we couldn't have come up that highway. They insisted we couldn't have made it through that spot where the road is washed out at Benbow. They asked how we got there. They had lost a dump truck and 2 tractors down the river there; totally gone. They told us they are taking a convoy to Eureka tomorrow, and we HAD to go with the convoy.

We were given a warm meal there and a place to stay in the home of a dentist, Dr. Ball. That was the end of the second day.

It turned out that the Balls are Christians. They were very good to us. Steve slept with us. Dr Ball filled our gas tank before we left.

The afternoon of the third day, the convoy left Garberville, and we finally got to Arcata. It is usually a 7 hour trip.

This is really awesome, as I think about it now. Had we plunged into that river, none of our family, the children or the grand children, would exits on Earth today. So everything else that follows is a gift from God, and our Family’s Legacy.

Dot